It has long been recognized by public men of all kinds. . . that statistics come under the head of lying, and that no lie is so false or inconclusive as that which is based on statistics.

Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine, There’s always laughter and good red wine. At least I’ve always found it so. Benedicamus Domino!

The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

When one remembers how the Catholic Church has been governed, and by whom, one realizes that it must have been divinely inspired to have survived at all.

When I am dead, I hope it may be said: His sins were scarlet, but his books were read.

The Llama is a woolly sort of fleecy hairy goat, with an indolent expression and an undulating throat; like an unsuccessful literary man.

We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.

I shoot the Hippopotamus with bullets made of platinum, because if I use the leaden one his hide is sure to flatten em.

The Church is a perpetually defeated thing that always outlives her conquerers.

These are the advantages of travel, that one meets so many men whom one would otherwise never meet, and that one feeds as it were upon the complexity of mankind

I have wandered all my life, and I have also traveled; the difference between the two being this, that we wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.

Huge Jackman has divorced his wife and happened upon my picture in some old article and decided that I'm the woman for him?~ Susan

Dying is a very solitary thing. The only thing we can do it be there when she wants us there.

Die: To stop sinning suddenly.

Money can be fickle, having a lasting relationship with a few and a brief fling with others, while just flirting with the rest of us.

You've already been at the bottom. Why don't you go for the top?

You know who does have a funny bone in her body? Your mom every night for a dollar.

Stop, collaborate and listen.

Happiness means quiet nerves.

Do not tax your life with forethought of grief.