It dont matter WHAT your doin, ust as long as you LOOK GOOD doin it

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

I have nothing to offer you otherthan the undying love of my broken Heart.

For me, it's very childish to tour on a train. And I think that's a powerful quality, to inspire childishness.

Live with the objective of being happy.

Highfalutin moral principles are impossible guides to foreign policy. At worst, they reflect hypocrisy; at best, extreme naivete.

Your brain is always eavesdropping on your thoughts. As it listens, it leans. If you teach it about limitation, your brain will become limited...Teach your brain to be unlimited.

Ennui is the echo in us of time tearing itself apart.

Love guides the stars towards each other, the world plan endures only through love.

Those lips had curved into a knowing half smile that did funny things to her insides. And like a match tossed to gasoline, her body sparked alive and flames licked every inch of her.

Money is the driving force of Hand to Mouth, the lack of money, and all those true stories about strange things in The Red Notebook, coincidences and unlikely events, surprise, the unexpected.

What would we do without irony? Check out your own daily reliance on it, the foul-weather friend who's there for you when nothing else is.