Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

He who knows how will always work for he who knows why.

Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information on it.

Rage is caused by a conviction, almost comic in its optimistic origins (however tragic in its effects), that a given frustration has not been written into the contract of life.

I never give up. Doesn't matter what the score is.

I want to make this perfectly clear: you can be sure that I will never be a yes-man except to my own conscience.

I am uniquely positioned and prepared to be president. I can assure you I am serious. I am committed

The light can be a curtain as well as the darkness.

Do you have blacks, too?

The UNIA teaches our race self-help and self-reliance... in all those things that contribute to human happiness and well-being.

Useful men, who do useful things, don't mind being treated as useless. But the useless always judge themselves as being important and hide all their incompetence behind authority.

If my father was alive to hear that, he'd turn over in his grave.