If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

He who knows how will always work for he who knows why.

Women need food, water, and complimentsThat's right.And an occasional pair of shoes.

Because sometimes things happen to people and they're not equipped to deal with them.

It's easy to fictionalize an issue when you're not aware of the many ways in which you are privileged by it.

To all my fans, thank you for your time and your love and your positive energy. It lifts my spirit and it means the world to me that I mean anything to you, so thank you.

The best leaders don’t know just one style of leadership—they’re skilled at several, and have the flexibility to switch between styles as the circumstances dictate.

The only way to the top is killing and greed. Okay, I'm kidding. But killing helps.

A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies.

The complexity of human relationships is never simple to follow; it is like intricate lacework, but lacework made of steel.

the bird sings as if to say that delight is easy, for those who desire it

Tomorrow you'll be brave, you say? Fool! Dive today.