I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

He who knows how will always work for he who knows why.

Humans, so easily electrified by the snap, crackle, pop of blood, brutality, and butchery.

Victory must be real. It must be earned. That means it must be rare and difficult, against steep odds, and defeat must be the other.

The greatest power in the world is choice.

Let us then be up and doing With a heart for any fate Still achieving still pursuing Learn to labor and to wait.

I have a massage when I want to relax. I love being pampered. I love island massages when you're outside in the fresh air.

Moses spent forty years thinking he was somebody; forty years learning he was nobody; and forty years discovering what God can do with a nobody.

The most dangerous untruths are truths slightly distorted.

I hate the uncultivated crowd and keep them at a distance. Favour me by your tongues (keep silence). [Lat., Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. Favete linguis.]

I understand boxing has been around for so long, and it's old money. The sport has such a history, I just don't understand how it's even a competition though.

It's only the dead who'll tell you the truth.