Interesting survey in the current Journal of Abnormal Psychology: New York City has a higher percentage of people you shouldn't make any sudden moves around than any other city in the world.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Don't mark up the Library's copy, you fool! Librarians are Unprankable. They'll track you down! They have skills!

I researched children's rights, divorce law, and parental kidnapping. Millions of children and parents are touched by the inadequacy of the legal system to deal with the human heart.

It's not our mistakes that define us. It's the lessons we learn that show our true character.

He must put his whole life into his work, who would do it well, and make it potential to influence other lives.

It's a weird feeling more than anything. You kind of have to swallow your pride a little bit, realize we won the game, be excited about it. We get to go back to D.C.

Mourning your first love is as important as meeting your first love. It's the whole cycle.

Your home should be a reflection of how you want to live right now, and for the next phase of your life.

He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.

Clearly the West Indies are going to play their normal game, which is what they normally do