In Hollywood if you are not working, you are a leper. True, you are probably living in the most expensive leper colony in the world.

You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't hurt you too deeply either. And there are so many nice-looking shoes.

Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.

Success is like winning the sweepstakes or getting killed in an automobile crash. It always happens to somebody else.

Do not make a stingy sandwich; pile the cold cuts high; so you should see salami coming through the rye.

The head coach don't want no sissies, so he reads to us from something called Ulysses.

A committee is a group of individuals who all put in a perfectly good color, and it comes out gray.

The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.

I had moved out of the Edison Hotel because I couldn't pay the bill and was living at the Lincoln Hotel, where I couldn't pay the bill either, but it was cheaper.

Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.

A "Normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray."

Jesus--if Kilgore Trout could only write!" Rosewater exclaimed. He had a point: Kilgore Trout's unpopularity was deserved. His prose was frightful. Only his ideas were good.

You just stood up to your mother.... I should think now you could take on the world.

We're only at the beginning of what we have to do here.

A power nap, is when you sleep on someone who's weaker than you

Dignity is a mask we wear to hide our ignorance.

If you like the precision and concision of poetry, a page of prose is unsatisfying in a certain way. And poetry is so direct.

Nature is not a temple, but a ruin. A beautiful ruin, but a ruin all the same.

And what does every child believe every adult capable of doing? Of actually being able to bend the world to an inner desire, exactly what the child is busily practicing in his passionate play.

Eat when it's time to eat. And move along when it's time to move along.