You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't hurt you too deeply either. And there are so many nice-looking shoes.

Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.

Success is like winning the sweepstakes or getting killed in an automobile crash. It always happens to somebody else.

Do not make a stingy sandwich; pile the cold cuts high; so you should see salami coming through the rye.

The head coach don't want no sissies, so he reads to us from something called Ulysses.

A committee is a group of individuals who all put in a perfectly good color, and it comes out gray.

The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.

I had moved out of the Edison Hotel because I couldn't pay the bill and was living at the Lincoln Hotel, where I couldn't pay the bill either, but it was cheaper.

Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.

A "Normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray."

Love is lovelier the 7th time around.

Lack of confidence in yourself, Can allow your enemies to hurt you easily.

Fruit falls when you shake the tree. You have to keep making things happen.

Absence really can make the heart grow fonder, even when the [man's] feet wander.

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim.

I have no idea what I did. I heard people talk about dead leg, shake, change of pace and all that, but I did things without thinking about them.

I guess I'm drawn to religion because I can be provocative without harming something people really care about, like their cars.

Men will flee to caves in the rocks and to holes in the ground from dread of the LORD and the splendor of his majesty, when he rises to shake the earth.

The realization that life is absurdand cannot be an end, but only abeginning. This is a truth nearly allgreat minds have taken as their starting point.

Anyone can follow a path, but only a leader can blaze one.

I think that the mark of a great book is that it will meet you wherever you're at and you'll feel and experience something new and different each time you read it.