If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.

If you are sleeping that time when you should not sleep!you should sleep forever because you are hopeless

Everything that is online is not necessarily in line.

The entire value of a person is subjective to your relationship with them.

Everyday is filled with opportunities to take a quiet moment

I don't know how one should live - but I know that one should live.

Each year India and China produce four million graduates compared with just over 250,000 in Britain.

When you cannot measure, your knowledge is meager and unsatisfactory.

The meal plan was hard at first because I am a snack eater, but the most challenging part is trying to change my pallet to like healthy food.

You have to keep surprising your audience.