If President Obama really wants to hurt the Syrian government, don't send cruise missiles. He should send over some of his economic advisers.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

For whom do you cry, my son?” the Great Spirit asked.“I do not know.”“Yes, you do.

In Tulsa, it was sports or nothing.

Wherever my work may take me in the near future even if you should see me one day within the fortress - you can always count on me as your reliable assistant.

The Big-Media collective, however, is slow, stupid and shackled by ideology. Reality must bite them before they’ll recognize it, much less report it.

The Sun in London ran a front page declaring my bum a national treasure. I really did laugh at that. Its not like it can actually do anything, except wiggle.

Here the people seem to possess the secret of tranquility and to live lives of more than surface contentment.

When the human race has once acquired a superstition, nothing short of death is ever likely to remove it.

One out of three black men are in the criminal justice system in some form. Their despair is beginning to resonate through the entire culture; that is why suburban children want rap music.

Seek to understand rather than be understood.

I would never say I will stay in electronic music for the rest of my life. I will always do whatever I feel like at that moment.