If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

The past always looks better than it was; it's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.

It was such a heavenly dream: dreamed between the reality of war and the reality of hereditary madness.

Let one who seeks not stop seeking until that person finds.

Men prefer to believe that they are degenerated angels rather than elevated apes.

There's not too many shows with, you know, mid 20s male lead on it. And I thought that would be obviously something to go for The Listener.

Nearly every man is a coward, if confronted by the proper terror.

I don't intentionally spoil my grandkids. It's just that correcting them often takes more energy than I have left.

To make a fortune some assistance from fate is essential. Ability alone is insufficient.

Whether it be Beyonce or Justin Bieber, we see singers who have absolutely nothing to offer anyone as they walk off stage clutching three Grammys in each hand.

Thus the expert in battle moves the enemy, and is not moved by him.