INADMISSIBLE- Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible ... but there is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

Enemies aren't always garnered through action... Sometimes they appear for no other reason than to shame the goodwill of loving & kind people.

Making universal prosperity a right is the surest way to universal poverty.

Fear is a hammer, and when the people are beaten finally to the conviction that their existence hangs by a frayed thread, they will be led where they need to go.

He thinkes not well, that thinkes not againe.

Happiness is inward, and not outward; and so, it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are.

My wife told me that in the Bible, Abraham circumcised himself... wow! I can't even get to the bank before it closes.

I didn't want to see her because it would make me feel better. I came because without her, it's hard to remember who I am.

Darkness is absence of light. Shadow is diminution of light.

Going to the theater, spending tons of money, people are losing money doing that. I'm really interested in my kinds of movies being seen as many people as possible on a TV.