I would rather be a security guard than a rock star.

I got involved in improv comedy. It settled me down when I was getting wild. I was sort of an evil teenager smashing up my cars and drinking and driving, let's just say, a lot.

I think you're the grumpy Kid in the Hall, I'm the nice Kid in the Hall.

However, we couldn't focus on the films much during the series because we're dumb. Individually we're smart guys, but together we're one big dumb guy, and couldn't concentrate on two things at once.

I'm in a rut deep enough to hang posters.

I don't love comedy but I can watch someone who's kind of interesting forever. I think a waitress who's having a bad day is a lot more fun than Robin Williams doing forty minutes of material.

Cancer Boy probably has the saddest, noblest, sweetest heart of any character I've ever done.

L.A. Woman is amazing, but when I was growing up I was into the Who.

To me, Doors fans were always the 16-year-old idiots at parties, getting stoned, and talking about how Morrison's lyrics were like poetry... like that was a deep thought.

I hate to sound like Julie the cruise director but it's people that I think about all the time.

I think that's why I like baseball. There's something great about it - you're young, the pitcher's young and he's got this great arm, and he doesn't really realize anything about strategy.

I haven't had that one great love, which is good. I don't want that to be in the past, I want it to be in the future.

What do you want in life?

I know my strong points: I work hard, I have talent, I'm funny, and I'm a good person.

The best ballplayer's the one who doesn't think he made good. He keeps trying to convince you.

I can't believe you brought me here to see some guy who heals people out of a tent!

Every child has the capacity to be everything.

If you ruin your life, you will pay the price of rehabilitating yourself ... We are not punished for our sins, but by them. Liberty means responsibility.

The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.

I sent one e-mail in my life. I sent it to Jeff Raikes at Microsoft, and it ended up in court in Minneapolis, so I am one for one.

Physiology and psychology cover, between them, the field of vital phenomena; they deal with the facts of life at large, and in particular with the facts of human life.