I got involved in improv comedy. It settled me down when I was getting wild. I was sort of an evil teenager smashing up my cars and drinking and driving, let's just say, a lot.

I would rather be a security guard than a rock star.

I think you're the grumpy Kid in the Hall, I'm the nice Kid in the Hall.

However, we couldn't focus on the films much during the series because we're dumb. Individually we're smart guys, but together we're one big dumb guy, and couldn't concentrate on two things at once.

I'm in a rut deep enough to hang posters.

I don't love comedy but I can watch someone who's kind of interesting forever. I think a waitress who's having a bad day is a lot more fun than Robin Williams doing forty minutes of material.

Cancer Boy probably has the saddest, noblest, sweetest heart of any character I've ever done.

L.A. Woman is amazing, but when I was growing up I was into the Who.

To me, Doors fans were always the 16-year-old idiots at parties, getting stoned, and talking about how Morrison's lyrics were like poetry... like that was a deep thought.

I hate to sound like Julie the cruise director but it's people that I think about all the time.

I think that's why I like baseball. There's something great about it - you're young, the pitcher's young and he's got this great arm, and he doesn't really realize anything about strategy.

It's normal to shy away from illness and death. It's natural to gravitate toward laughter and life.

This world that we live in would be perfect if there were less prejudice and people who think they are better than others.

Social media can be dangerous. People hide behind their computers and write negative things, so I like to keep it about communicating with my fans.

There is always the option of being emotionally lazy, that is, of quoting.

I'm really glad that I spent my twenties messing around and having disaster after disaster - with people who were doing likewise - because it's really my greatest treasure now.

Despite the Brian Williams lying scandal, NBC News led in the ratings last week. Although I should note the figures were reported by Brian Williams.

Funny women are honest women.

Let's just try to have a marvelous time this weekend. I mean not try to analyze everything to death for once, if possible. Especially me. I love you.

A belief in reincarnation would at least give us some slack; we would have many lifetimes to get it right.

Who is the Forgotten Man? He is the clean, quiet, virtuous, domestic citizen, who pays his debts and his taxes and is never heard of out of his little circle.