I went to a bookstore the other day. I asked a woman behind the counter where the self-help books were. She said, ‘If I told you, that would defeat the whole purpose.’

There's always one teacher you had a crush on; for me, it's my wife's aerobics instructor.

In high school, my sister went out with the captain of the chess team. My parents loved him... They figured that any guy that took hours to make a move was okay with them.

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences.

My grandfather is hard of hearing. He needs to read lips. I don't mind him reading lips, but he uses one of those yellow highlighters.

Men are rich only as they give. He who gives great service gets great rewards.

It's hard to go with a trend. As soon as it's out, everyone picks it up. It's important to stay true to yourself. Have fun with fashion instead of letting it dictate.

Potter! There are hundreds of people thundering through my pub!

I just left wishing that it was longer because I enjoyed it so thoroughly.

Even an empty road leads somewhere, right?

Let's build a battery plant here.

Steve Nicol never gives more than 120 per cent.

An evil gain equals a loss.

Things have done their part; it is for us to do ours.

Sometimes my success is attributed to my height (which is 7'2"), which I won't deny does help to an extent. But honestly, the rest comes from a healthy mix of workout and practice everyday.