I was always frightened by taverns. They just seemed like very unpleasant places to go.

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

Live the dream AWAKE!

We can only go to the limits of ourselves. Anything more and we give too much away. Then we're not good for anyone.

Reflect that in reality you have a greater need to serve [the poor] than they have of your service.

Happiness is working with Jack Lemmon.

I listen to too many people. I'm only going to listen to my gut for the rest of my life.

Flexibility has become a modern day value that everyone wants. But flexibility comes with a cost.

It is some alleviation to ills we cannot cure to speak of them.

After learning to love God (worship), learning to love others is the second purpose of your life.

It takes time for the absent to assume their true shape in our thoughts.

Love IS the People's Power