I've wiped the file? .... I've wiped all the files? .... I've wiped the INTERNET? I don't even have a modem!

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).

I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

I live on shameless flattery...and vodka...but the two usually go hand in hand.

I have always loved tartans - such an ornamented type of weaving, so vivid in colour, and such a masculine aspect. But actually, I think tartans can be feminine or masculine.

Wearing a bikini on a magazine cover is my 41st birthday present to myself.

With the proper motivation, that is, a good reason for wanting to do it, your mind can overcome any sort of adversity.

Is this film more interesting than a documentary of the same actors having lunch?

I would give all I possess to get out of myself; but somehow, at the end, I find myself so vastly more interesting than nine tenths of the people I meet.

There is a world of difference between a person who has a big problem and a person who makes a problem big.

Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.

I was raised in a heavily Catholic family. Early and consistent encounters with mysticism.

Out, you tallow-face! You baggage!