I've never had much sympathy for orphans, I mean, when I was their age I would have killed to have no parents to make me clean my room and stuff

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

Once upon a time, there had been a seventeen-year-old assassin who had never let anyone get closer to her. Then, with the turning of a page, her story changed forever.

May our words blaze the way to our future

A Liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties.

My first book, 'The Age of Wire and String,' came out in 1995, and it was hardly reviewed at all.

Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work.

Begin to imagine what the desirable outcome would be like. Go over these mental pictures and delineate details and refinements. Play them over and over to yourself.

Most writers are secretly worried that they're not really writers. That it's all been happenstance, something came together randomly, the letters came together, and they won't coalesce ever again.

Even if people are suspicious of the motives I think that learning and speaking two languages can only be a good thing for people.

Imagine painting all the statues in the world in the color of the sky