I've had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you're carrying a grudge, they're out dancing.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said, "How about Tuesday?"

I found out that if you made people laugh, they like you. Most people got to like me because I made them laugh. When they didn't, I hit them.

I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart.

Don't carry a grudge. While you're carrying the grudge, the other guys's out there dancing.

Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it.

There have always been mixed emotions about Howard Cosell: Some people hate him like poison; and other people just hate him regular.

I have the gift of laughter. I can make people laugh at will. In good times and in bad. And that I don't question. It was a gift from God.

When I do an hour-and-a-half show, if I don't improvise 20 minutes worth of new material each night, I feel I've let myself down.

A comedian sees the world bent. I'm tangent to the circle.

No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal

If we're all aggressive, obedient solders [sic], who's going to write the poems and play the blues and go on anti-war protest marches?

You’re insane.”“It’ll work.”“Which does not alter the fact that you are insane.

A country without vision runs to every direction.

I like a little bit of revolution. I think it's a very good hobby for a young woman. Better than squash.

For there is in mankind an unfortunate propensity to make themselves, their views and their works, the measure of excellence in every thing whatsoever

I don't think of myself as a singer really.

Robinson did not merely play at center stage. He was center stage; and wherever he walked, center stage moved with him.

We should realize there are so many things that us together rather than the things that keep us apart.

You can take a good picture of anything. A bad one, too.