I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.

Staying in a hotel this time. They put me up in a little bit of a shithole. Yeah. Just this side of rinky dink. The first 7 floors are a homeless shelter, but I'm on 8.

Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality; it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.

I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

Flaubert had infinite correction to perform.

The Hillary Clinton foreign policy has cost America thousands of lives and trillions and trillions of dollars, and unleashed ISIS across the world.

I believe that never was a country better adapted to produce a great race of women than this Canada of ours, nor a race of women better adapted to make a great country.

The new rule says that the FBI has the right to go to public places on the same terms and conditions as other members of the public for counterterrorism purposes.

Don't have any more secrets than you can keep yourself.

One day I promised God that if he would give me my voice back I would never smoke again. I got three octaves back after quitting.

But I also happen to be someone who believes in tithing--the giving of a tenth .

There's little comfort in the wise

It is impossible for ideas to compete in the marketplace if no forum for their presentation is provided or available.

The future is electronic. It's radio, television and the Internet; it's not really newspapers anymore.