I've always just had troubles with my family because I'm psychotic. It had nothing to do with that.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

Death ends a life, but it does not end a relationship, which struggles on in the survivor’s mind toward some final resolution, some clear meaning, which it perhaps never finds.

I just don't believe in helping people who are going to torture me. Though I don't see any bamboo slivers. How can you possibly torture someone without bamboo slivers?

Hope is immeasurable anchor.

My features have blunted with the passage of time, my reflection only faintly resembles how I see myself. Gravity demands payback for the years my body has resisted it.

I have never believed you go to war in Iraq, you go to war in Afghanistan, and believe that you can deal with those battlefields, those countries, in microcosms, or narrow channels.

When your house is on fire, you cant be bothered with the neighbors. Or, as we say in Chess, if your King is under attack you don't worry about losing a Pawn on the Queen's side

So I may not have had a gothic childhood, but childhood makes its own gothicity.

If you struck your mother or your father, it was punishable by death because you struck at the whole society. You struck at the morality of the society itself. This is what we have lost.

In a dung heap, even a plastic bead can gleam like a sapphire.

Me and Jaden just figured out that our voices sound like chocolate together. As good as chocolate tastes, it sounds that good.