It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue.

Be a nonbeliever, but never forget to believe in yourself.

Gaming has been a great way to get to know people. That's part of what I love about games, that they are social.

Harden our hearts. To the innocents in the womb and we have hardened our hearts. To the need for compassion and mercy and. Fellow feeling. And charity. And decency in this world.

Do unto others, then run

If tomorrow, women woke up and decided they really liked their bodies, just think how many industries would go out of business.

Catholicism has the clerical equivalent to a nut allergy - even a small exposure to change, and the whole thing will go into anaphylactic shock.

The time is not yet ripe to say what happened. When history's ready, then we can talk about it

I believe that I am guided by chance encounters. I believe in the miracle of chance encounters.

Let evil wait for the day on which it must fall.

You said I was weak. You said I couldn't do it. Thank you. You gave me everything I needed to prove you wrong.