I used to drink beer and smoke pot before I played. Now I drink tequila and smoke pot. So it's a little different

Don't jack off a cactus, you'll only hurt your hand and the cactus' feelings

It's not how you pick your nose, it's where you put that booger that counts.

The one thing about Billie is he will snap and rip your head off if you point anything out at all other than how beautiful he is and how nice he looks today.

I wish people would turn off their computers, go outside, talk to people, touch people, lick people, enjoy each other's company and smell each other on the rump

Life is like breakfast: you just mix all ingredients 'cause in your stomach it will all come together.

Punk rock has become another viable art form. It always was. But now it's like everyone's doing it.

I've matured, maybe, but not grown up.

I'm not exactly sure how many kids I have, but yes, I do miss them officially, for the record. In case any of them are listening, I love you.

I'm a drummer. I can count to four and repeat.

I never completed high school and I am very rich and very successful.

I am not sure I trust you.""You can trust me with your life, My King.""But not with my wine, obviously. Give it back.

Who would want to buy a good car when you can buy an American car?

Choices are at the root of every one of your results.

Basketballs dont hold grudges!

Don't look back. Just go ahead. Give ideas away. Under every idea there's a new idea waiting to be born.

At least tell me you won? And that the scratches and dings were totally worth it." "Of course. They're always worth it," he says with a hidden meaning that only the two of us could ever understand.

What a coincidence, they both go to College and I'm a rapist!

Who delivered up Jesus to die? Not Judas, for money; not Pilate, for fear; not the Jews, for envy; - but the father, for love!

The Beatles are the most credible band in the history of music.

Only ambitious nonentities and hearty mediocrities exhibit their rough drafts. It's like passing around samples of sputum.