It's not how you pick your nose, it's where you put that booger that counts.

Don't jack off a cactus, you'll only hurt your hand and the cactus' feelings

The one thing about Billie is he will snap and rip your head off if you point anything out at all other than how beautiful he is and how nice he looks today.

I wish people would turn off their computers, go outside, talk to people, touch people, lick people, enjoy each other's company and smell each other on the rump

Life is like breakfast: you just mix all ingredients 'cause in your stomach it will all come together.

Punk rock has become another viable art form. It always was. But now it's like everyone's doing it.

I've matured, maybe, but not grown up.

I'm not exactly sure how many kids I have, but yes, I do miss them officially, for the record. In case any of them are listening, I love you.

I'm a drummer. I can count to four and repeat.

I never completed high school and I am very rich and very successful.

I like Fisher Price music, nursery rhymes, and the alphabet song.

There are many men but rare fathers

It takes a long time to grow an old friend, so I figure I better get moving.

Freedom and constraint are two aspects of the same necessity, the necessity of being the man you are and not another. You are free to be that man, but not another.

It ain't that I'm too big to listen to the rumors, It's just that I'm too damn big to pay attention to 'em.

I teach Zen, tantric mysticism, jnana yoga, bhakti yoga, Tibetan mysticism, occultism and psychic development. I also teach poetry and literature, film and many other different things.

The one way to discover about aliens is to tune your radio telescope and listen to the signals.

Faced with the nonsense question 'What is the meaning of a word?' and perhaps dimly recognizing it to be nonsense, we are nevertheless not inclined to give it up.

Reality, as usual, beats fiction out of sight.

If you believe in truth and cared enough to obtain it, you had to be prepared actively to suffer for it.

Gentrification and consumerism... have destroyed the character of my favorite American haunts, like North Beach, Berkeley, Venice and Aspen.