I think I may have become an actor to hide from myself. You can escape into a character.

As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.

I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!

Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago.

If you're not happy without it, you'll never be happy with it.

Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you're Canadian and people laugh

Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.

I thought to myself, "Join the army!" It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds.

You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home.

I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy: eat a proper diet and exercise. All I've got to do is apply it.

I'm the one who has to look in the mirror, and after a while it begins to eat at you.

Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life the whole aim and end of human existence.

The power of the people and the power of reason are one.

My best advice to any young person is, if you want kids, be careful who you have them with. That's my mantra.

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk.

Money is life to us wretched mortals.

I look at directing as a sporting event. It's a race, a marathon. It's great when it clicks, which is why I push my crews so hard so we can excel.

I'm not that good looking. That's why 'Gangnam Style' works. If someone handsome uses that phrase it's just awkward. But if someone like me uses it, it's funny.

Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.

Simplicity of life, even the barest, is not a misery, but the very foundation of refinement.