You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home.

As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.

I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!

Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago.

If you're not happy without it, you'll never be happy with it.

Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you're Canadian and people laugh

Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.

I thought to myself, "Join the army!" It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds.

I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy: eat a proper diet and exercise. All I've got to do is apply it.

I'm the one who has to look in the mirror, and after a while it begins to eat at you.

Like your job. Love your wife.

You are a change maker and nothing should clean this notice off the boards of your heart!

My very beloved and deceased third-grade teacher, Cliff Kehod, was the one that I really remember calling me Ike a lot. It just stuck. It is a dog's name, but I love dogs.

We are all ready to be savage in some cause. The difference between a good man and a bad one is the choice of the cause.

If you can't write your idea on the back of my calling card, you don't have a clear idea.

The worst thing to happen to Lincoln - aside from the unfortunate incident at Ford's theatre - was to fall into the hands of Carl Sandburg.

You can't get AIDS from a hug or a handshake or a meal with a friend.

It is the broken heart that makes us human in the end.

We never stop to consider that our beliefs are only a relative truth that’s always going to be distorted by all the knowledge we have stored in our memory.

The bond market is debating with itself what the intent of the Fed is. I don't think the Fed has a multi-step process. They are taking it step by step.