I smoke crack. I get all my dancers together and we do a prayer.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

You wish for what's called wooing. This customary game, where the man shows the woman that resistance is impractical, strikes me as quite pointless.

Living is struggling to do something impossible; To succeed or die, knowing that you had tried.

Be to the world a sign that while we as Christians do not have all the answers, we do know and care about the questions.

Your personal boundaries protect the inner core of your identity and your right to choices.

It's the guided thought that conquers; not the guided missile.

Teenagers want to be able to fight for what's right - but finding out what's right is now 90 percent of the battle.

No confession is inerrant; Reformed Christians are supposed to be those who seek to be constantly reformed according to the Word of God - and that includes our confessions as well.

I did not set out to be a poster child for anything. I saw a mountain. I wanted to climb it.

Always think, 'what's the worst that can happen' and have some kind of strategy to deal with it

As a military child I first learned how to deal with different types of people and how to deal with order.