Contemporary Comedy Quotes
Contemporary Comedy Quote of the day
I've also been known to cry during MasterCard commercials.
I held it together for the rest of the drive home but as soon as Kelsey dropped me off I flopped face down on the couch and sobbed like a reality TV star on confessional day.
If one is going to spend her afternoon singing hymns to the great porcelain goddess, she might as well do it in a really plush ladies room. Stupid fear of public speaking.
Some people say Earth is the bottom level of Purgatory.' She pointed toward the floor and frowned.'I call it the top floor of Hell.
You wish for what's called wooing. This customary game, where the man shows the woman that resistance is impractical, strikes me as quite pointless.
Just in front of her lay the Congaree Swamp National Forest. To prove it, a mosquito the size of a kitten landed on her arm and prepared to drill.
Do you mind if we leave here so I can chain smoke 'til I throw up so it will be easier to quit?
While I had no intention of hooking up with him, I still wanted him to want to hook up with me.It was the principle of the thing, after all.
I could run, too, but my feet hurt. It's tough being a fashion vixen.
Wait until you meet my family. At Thanksgiving, we kill everything we can find, put it into a pot, and call it 'holiday gumbo'.
Leave before I have to rip your eyes out with my dull Lady Bic razor.
...I supplied in a tone so saccharine that it should have tipped him off that his testicular health was in serious peril.
Ophelia was beating some poor underling for not knowing her arse from the sparse collection of cells between her ears.
Annabelle was practically standing on my back. It was like wearing an Annabelle backpack.
