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Mitch Hedberg Quotes: I put fruit on top of my waffles, because I want something to brush off.
         

I put fruit on top of my waffles, because I want something to brush off.


Mitch Hedberg
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"Mitch Hedberg Quotes." Quoteslyfe.com, 2024. Thu. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.quoteslyfe.com/quote/I-put-fruit-on-top-of-my-902138>.





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Other quotes of Mitch Hedberg


I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."

I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."



A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.



I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.



I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.

I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.



My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.



My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.



Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.



Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.



Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.



I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.





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When you ask God for a gift, Be thankful if he sends, Not diamonds, pearls or riches, but the love of real true friends.

When you ask God for a gift, Be thankful if he sends, Not diamonds, pearls or riches, but the love of real true friends.




We refused to be what the world want us to be- BAD. We are what we are- GOOD. And that's the way it is going to be.

We refused to be what the world want us to be- BAD. We are what we are- GOOD. And that's the way it is going to be.




Ill customs and bad advice are seldom forgotten.

Ill customs and bad advice are seldom forgotten.



An old-timer is someone who can remember when a naughty child was taken to the woodshed instead of to a psychiatrist.

An old-timer is someone who can remember when a naughty child was taken to the woodshed instead of to a psychiatrist.



The concepts "beyond" and "real world" were invented in order to depreciate the only world that exists-in order that no goal, no aim or task might be left for our earthly reality.

The concepts "beyond" and "real world" were invented in order to depreciate the only world that exists-in order that no goal, no aim or task might be left for our earthly reality.



The difficulty with humorists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't; whichever seems likelier to win an effect.

The difficulty with humorists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't; whichever seems likelier to win an effect.



Teach a man to read and write, and you have put into his hands the great keys of the wisdom-box.

Teach a man to read and write, and you have put into his hands the great keys of the wisdom-box.



Look into a mirror, make eye contact with yourself, and say "I love me" as many times as possible during the day.

Look into a mirror, make eye contact with yourself, and say "I love me" as many times as possible during the day.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "I put fruit on top of my waffles, because I want something to brush off.". Author of this quote is Mitch Hedberg. This quote is about funny, waffles, fruit, humor, want something,.