I never analyze it. Analyzing it would just be a waste of time. I just go out and do it.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Expansion (both far and wide) is the order of the day

The Lean Startup has evolved into a movement that is having a significant impact on how companies are built, funded and scaled.

Sir, you shall taste my Anno Domini.

I don't think anyone's ever thought I was a drug dealer.

People mistakenly believe that if you do nothing but train you can only get better. You've got to work hard, but the harder you work the harder you must rest and relax.

Once Europe existed in a Dark Age and Islam carried the torch of learning. Now we Muslims live in a Dark age.

Evolution created a violent order where beings eat other beings. Till we change this order and create a harmony between all beings, there shall be no real peace on Earth.

I just want to comment on how It's become a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in Love with my sloppy seconds

Woman's ability to earn money is better protection against the tyranny and brutality of men than her ability to vote.

There is no mistake so great as the mistake of not going on.