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Amy Schumer Quotes: I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.
         

I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.


Amy Schumer
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Other quotes of Amy Schumer


We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.

We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.



You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.

You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.



I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody's being evicted.

I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody's being evicted.



I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three years.

I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three years.



Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'

Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'



Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.

Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.



Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that.

Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that.



I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.

I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.



I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.

I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.



I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'

I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'





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Theoretically speaking a good reader should also be a good learner, whatever the century and the place!

Theoretically speaking a good reader should also be a good learner, whatever the century and the place!



The origin and the operation of the universe do not require any violations of the laws of physics.

The origin and the operation of the universe do not require any violations of the laws of physics.



I believe on you, rest of things doesn't matter. Take a deep breath, take your time. Time has gone, time will come.Time will be yours if you believe on yourself.

I believe on you, rest of things doesn't matter. Take a deep breath, take your time. Time has gone, time will come.Time will be yours if you believe on yourself.



The difference between getting somewhere and nowhere is the courage to make an early start. The fellow who sits still and does just what he is told will never be told to do big things.

The difference between getting somewhere and nowhere is the courage to make an early start. The fellow who sits still and does just what he is told will never be told to do big things.



Also in Norah Jones, now there's a voice that sounds and I don't mean disrespect but sounds a hundred years old that sounds incredibly experienced. It's just an exciting time.

Also in Norah Jones, now there's a voice that sounds and I don't mean disrespect but sounds a hundred years old that sounds incredibly experienced. It's just an exciting time.



I have always been haunted by the feeling that the painter has much to gain from making use of the forces that tend to work against his action.

I have always been haunted by the feeling that the painter has much to gain from making use of the forces that tend to work against his action.



I'm so wrapped up in my work that it's often impossible to consider other things in my life. My marriage ended in divorce because of this, my relationship with Holly has suffered by this.

I'm so wrapped up in my work that it's often impossible to consider other things in my life. My marriage ended in divorce because of this, my relationship with Holly has suffered by this.



People move forward into the future out of the way they comprehend the past. When we don't understand something in our past, we are therefore crippled.

People move forward into the future out of the way they comprehend the past. When we don't understand something in our past, we are therefore crippled.



Recognition of function always precedes recognition of being.

Recognition of function always precedes recognition of being.



So today I say, the outlook in Georgia has never been brighter.

So today I say, the outlook in Georgia has never been brighter.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.". Author of this quote is Amy Schumer. This quote is about stuff, stuff i like, jokes,.