I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Love shall be our token

Hatred and disdain do harm to the donor not the intended recipient…The Strength in Knowing ----- by I. Alan Appt

All for one and one for all, united we stand divided we fall.

I'm a Christian. I want the world of justice and equality. This is the only way to achieve peace.

I was born in Everett; I went through grade school in Everett, high school in Seattle.

I was listening to this Adele song, where she's like, "When we were young..." I was like, "You're 27. Are you kidding me?

Does Christ get a good reputation because of the way we live? Is the excellence of Christ displayed in our lives? That should matter to us, not whether we ourselves are praised.

I identify with the 99 per cent.

I was all caught up with identifying with certain things. They just weren't very stimulating things.

When words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain.