I guess you heard, Hillary Clinton has a new campaign slogan: "I've fallen and I can't get up!"

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

The price you will offer yourself to the world, is how much they will buy you.

Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker.

Life is nothing, if you feel nothing.

For this is wisdom: to live to take what fate or the Gods may give.

Education should be one of our top funding priorities talking about it does not help the teachers and students who desperately need promises fulfilled.

I think people who struggle to define themselves might never be satisfied because there is no definition. Living with responsibility is important, but I don't really think you have to grow up.

How often in life we complete a task that was beyond the capability of the person we were when we started it.

But there are advantages to being elected President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret.

The magic formula that successful businesses have discovered is to treat customers like guests and employees like people.

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.