I grew up in San Diego, so it wasn't hard to move to L.A. to get into show business, but I did the standard thing of just moving without much money and just seeing if I could make it work.

LL Cool J should be the spokesman for a line of pajamas called Ladies Love Cool Jammies.

Why would any woman agree to be on a show called Bridezillas? It's not like men would agree to be on Douchegroom.

You know you drank too much the night before when you wake up with crop circles in your pubes.

Big deal... the only cats that don't have three legs are the ones with two through zero legs.

A message to parents who think legalizing weed will make their kids want to try it: they will anyway.

The genius' behind the new Rocky movie decided to call it Rocky Balboa so that we'll probably forget that it's number six. Or Rocky Balboa can't count past five.

In Seattle, they have a saying: 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.'

I just broke up with my girlfriend because I caught her lying. Under another man.

Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you.

The great thing about being up early on a Sunday is nothing.

When we will learn to use the power of love to win the war, universal peace and happiness will be there.

There can be no light without shadow.

How to partner with the power of the cosmos to fulfill your destiny

We're made up of energy, so who's to say you can't transmit through electrical means? If you could transmit yourself wirelessly, then it's Armageddon pretty much.

The States are great. I'd like to go just to see life, see things and hear people talk. It's like a circus where different acts go on at the same time.

We're never going to scare people into living more sustainably! We have to be able to demonstrate just how dynamic and aspirational such a world could be

Normal muscles should function naturally in much the same manner as do the muscles of animals.

I cut hundreds of pages from my book because I felt myself being reiterative or redundant. Sometimes I wanted to leave just hints of things.

You can't live a lie. You have to follow your heart.

That afternoon I came to understand that one of the deepest purposes of intellectual sophistication is to provide distance between us and our most disturbing personal truths and gnawing fears.