I fake fake to have a fake life. Does that make me a real horse? Buy now for $777, wooden saddle sold separately. Real horseshoes not included. Imaginary ones – neither.

The way to be invisible - is to truly be imaginary. But since you cannot imagine yourself, you have to clone your imagination into being an image of yourself. Imagine that.

The NSA may, or may not have rejected the invisible secret operative application form I never even bothered to have sent over to them. I'll never know...

A relationship is a process. If you have nothing to learn - you have a slave to teach. 's why schools are effective.

The only way to efficiently battle evil is to copy enough to know how to counter each argument, yet not enough to believe all the bullshit.

I think she's too single for me, and she thinks I'm with two other people. She also thinks she thinks, I think.

Some people are so much heaven to the square inch that life is simply hell, when she leaves you in order to go south for the winter. (Yes, women are people too, sometimes even threee.)

IQ's are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course you wouldn't, because the line is invisible.

Silence is the invisibility of talking. I'd take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I'd take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day, unless it's Tuesday.

When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Siamese twins from the future-past. Meow.

To fall in love twice, with the same person, you need to grow another heart. That's all I do in my secret underground laboratory at night...

His mind was constantly thinking about her, while he decided to recite a poem that he had written for her long ago. While he narrated, the words conjured memories like ghosts into the room.

The elevator can take you up to greater heights ONLY IF you take positive action by pressing the button. Greatness in life is all about the right choices you make.

She has to have four arms, four legs, four eyes, two hearts, and double the love. There is nothing “single” about a single mom.

In peace sons bury their fathers in war fathers bury their sons.

Crafting is putting ideas into action and then holding them together with an inexpensive adhesive.

It turned out I had always been a smoker. I just hadn't had any cigarettes.

When a dog is balanced, you are going to enjoy a true friend.

A miracle, my friend, is an event which creates faith.

We get used to a certain kind of colour of form or format, and it's acceptable. And to puncture that is sticking your neck out a bit. And then pretty soon, that's very acceptable.

You look in my room and it looks neat enough but if you dared to look under my bed or in my closet, oh what a mess!