I don't think politics is any longer about a conversation with the country.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

There is a madness that is joy, and there is a madness that is just madness.

Nobody likes to have trouble. The moment we get a hint that it's coming, a common response is, 'Oh no! Not again!'

I started singing at age five and haven't stopped since.

Childhood's over the moment you know you're going to die.

I have maintained that the people of India are ahead of their governments. The people of India are at least 10 to 15 years ahead of their governments.

Never abandon your dreams. Follow the signs.

Well, I think everyone struggles with self-love.

Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating. Shyness is inherently painful; introversion is not.

If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it. Then it will be managed - like chickens, like turkeys, like deer, like Canadian geese.

The statistics of suicide show that, for non-combatants at least, life is more interesting in war than in peace.