I don't paint every day. I'm not that motivated. I don't do anything the same every day.

God is in my head, but the devil is in my pants.

I've always been proud of being a Marine. I won't hesitate to defend the Corps.

Well, the most terrible fear that anybody should have is not war, is not a disease, not cancer or heart problems or food poisoning - it's a man or a woman without a sense of humor.

I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.

I have a photographic memory; I just haven't developed it yet.

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it.

I may not be playing with a full deck but I don't need a full deck. I have four aces.

When you wear so many hats in society, you never know who you are. That's the beauty of it. Because once you find out who you are, you're screwed.

Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.

I know you can be funny without being filthy.

Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.

Arson, after all, is an artificial crime...A large number of houses deserve to be burnt.

There is no one solution to all problems. It's the problem itself that can lead to the solution.

I was running from God, but I didn't know I was running from God. I didn't know that.

We enjoy the expectations people have of us. The higher they are, the more pressure, the better we like it.

You must look into people, as well as at them.

You need to know what doesn't work to know what works. It's especially true in improv and stand-up.

You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.

Our ability to adapt and therefore to accept everything is one of our greatest dangers. Creatures that are completely flexible, changeable, can have no fixed morality.

Take all reasonable advantage of that which the present may offer you. It is the only time which is ours. Yesterday is buried forever, and to-morrow we may never see.