I didn't drink at all in school, so when I went to college, I went nuts. I was trying to catch up on all the partying I missed out on.

Bigfoot loves celebrities. You just have to bring celebrities that Bigfoot loves. It would probably be just gorgeous women.

I would host a show where I take famous people out into the woods every week to find Bigfoot. I would do that. And you know what? We would find him in like a week.

When you're expecting a baby, there's a lot you can plan for, but when it happens early you just have to jump into it. Whatever plans you had, everything goes out the window.

You know the awkward class photo when you're sitting there for your school picture and you're 14 or something and you've got braces, and you don't know how to smile, and you've got a hard-on.

I've stolen a lot. Let me think about the best thing I've stolen. Stolen a lot of hearts.

One of the coolest things was that, in 2007, I got to go to Iraq with Rob Riggle, Paul Scheer, and Horatio Sanz. We went over there to do some comedy shows with the U.S.O.

Most monuments are not something you're going to keep me out of. And I go to a lot of monuments.

People always say, "When did you know you were funny?" They don't mean that in a bad way - this already makes me sound like such a jerk.

I've seen Jaws [movie], like, 800 times. And I love it.

That's a weird way to torture yourself. Just watch a movie, over and over, that you hate. That's really funny - that's probably exactly what hell is like.

Leeda knew friends never turned out to be what you expected. They came and went in waves, pulling away and coming back, leaving you feeling safe one minute and lost the next.

We need to use the mind of Christ to subdue the earth and bring the glory of the earth back to the master.

Maybe he murdered Myrtle

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will and the other from a strong won't.

You'll never be able to really measure anything, right? Including teachers.

Since karate is a martial art, you must practice with the utmost seriousness from the very beginning.

I have been in the film industry for 35 years, and everyone, including the spot-boys, will vouch for my character.

The original 'Edge of Darkness' was fantastic, a fabulous series. It was of its time, but this film version shows that times really haven't changed.

Anyone who consistently makes you feel bad is not helping you get better.

Anything is possible if you believe you deserve it.