I'd rather call myself a mischief-maker, an imp, rather than a satirist. Satirist sounds so self important. Plus no one is calling himself an imp right now. It makes me feel special.

I wish I had played team sports. I think every kid should. Teamwork builds character - teaches people about leadership and cooperation.

One Christmas my father kept our tree up till March. He hated to see it go. I loved that.

I love Christmas. Frosty the Snowman, peace on Earth and mangers, Salvation Army bell ringers and reindeer, the movie 'Meet Me in St. Louis,' office parties and cookies.

Politicians who wear little tennis socks with the balls at the back should not be taken seriously.

Homemade sweaters are always itchy.

Hypocrisy is great fodder for comedy.

I know a lot about a few things - mostly useless things.

It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict.

Christmas is a stocking stuffed with sugary goodness.

One could say, that #‎ Masons were raised right.

The oddly shaped man had introduced himself as a Mr. Abernathy, a wealthy friend of the family. "I'm a wealthy friend of the family, " he had said. "Very rich. Friendly.

These days, the bigger the company, the less you can figure out what it does.

What is an editor but a cross between a fall guy and a father figure? arthur koestler

For a member to say, 'I'm a lame duck' violates political science 101.

I'm a pleaser. That's my character.

I have made a short excursion into the new world which the Indian dwells in, or is. He begins where we leave off.

History will never accept difficulties as an excuse.

I stand by my opinions when I know I'm right, Captain Phelan. Whereas you stand by yours merely because you're stubborn.

God's love is unbounded. It has no limits.

I don't know of any source for online maps showing the platform, stairs, escalators, elevators, mezzanines and other station details.