I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

My only regret in the theater is that I could never sit out front and watch me.

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

A city full of eight million people. It was all rather lonely sometimes.

In the game of life, it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.

There is a lot of years in my 20s that acting was really on the back burner not even saying I was traveling and writing, taking pictures and just kind of living and figuring out what I wanted to do.

[John] Adams was the best and most colorful stylist among the Founders. Although [Tomas] Jefferson is widely regarded as the smoothest writer, Adams is by far the most engaging and imaginative.

Ordinary life goes on--that has saved many a man's reason.

Oh, you who are trying to learn the marvel of Love through the copy book of reason, I'm very much afraid that you will never really see the point.

If I must drool, I may as well drool on cashmere.

Kurds are like fire, if approached kindly they will warm you, if approached badly they will burn you

Suppose you had a cross burning in a play or a movie... Would that be intimidating?

Some makeup you put on and feel like you're getting pimples by the hour.