I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?

The way to be invisible - is to truly be imaginary. But since you cannot imagine yourself, you have to clone your imagination into being an image of yourself. Imagine that.

The NSA may, or may not have rejected the invisible secret operative application form I never even bothered to have sent over to them. I'll never know...

A relationship is a process. If you have nothing to learn - you have a slave to teach. 's why schools are effective.

The only way to efficiently battle evil is to copy enough to know how to counter each argument, yet not enough to believe all the bullshit.

I think she's too single for me, and she thinks I'm with two other people. She also thinks she thinks, I think.

Some people are so much heaven to the square inch that life is simply hell, when she leaves you in order to go south for the winter. (Yes, women are people too, sometimes even threee.)

IQ's are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course you wouldn't, because the line is invisible.

Silence is the invisibility of talking. I'd take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I'd take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day, unless it's Tuesday.

When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Siamese twins from the future-past. Meow.

To fall in love twice, with the same person, you need to grow another heart. That's all I do in my secret underground laboratory at night...

Degree lets you to the chair of interview, but it cannot provide you job

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth.

Change is such hard work.

The conservatives want to revolutionize the world all at once. And that's a dangerous proposal.

Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery.

Do you have any Greek in you? That was just a tactful way of asking if you're pregnant. If you're not, then let's break up.

Looking at scenes of nature, for even a short while, can help us become more insightful, more creative, and more productive.

The facts of a person's life will, like murder, come out.

My son doesn't know how flawed I am, how flawed we are. He still likes us so much, and that's so incredible to be around.

I think we have more athleticism, I think we have more pace and that's going to be important to deal with Ghana.