I am bravery. I am courage. I am valor. I am daring. I am holding a thesaurus.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

To tell a story is always to translate the raw material into a specific shape, to select out of the boundless potential facts those that seem salient.

And thoughts of no other man but you could possibly get through the picket lines to enter into my mind.

Yes, cannabis is dangerous, but no more than other perfectly legal drugs. It's time for a rethink, and the Tory party - the funkiest, most jiving party on Earth - is where it's happening.

Athletes become our heroes, because they're superhuman. They do things nobody else can do. They're better than 6 billion other people.

You can lead a horse to water and you can even make it drink, but you can't make actresses wear what they don't want to wear.

People of vision gauge decisions on the future; the story of the past cannot be rewritten.

When I am writing anything in general, I just want to tell the story that exists in my head; I don't try to write a parable or make a point.

Politics and war are remarkably similar situations.

The idea is more important than the style you're playing in.

Too many Americans are out of work, and our debt is out of control.