I adore dogs to the extent I think they are much more important than human beings. I like your dog much more than I like you.

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

I didn't quit drinking because I was a bad drunk. I quit because I was a spectacular drunk. It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it's not even a challenge any more.

The world's No. 1 tennis player spends 90 percent of his time winning, while the world's No. 1 golfer spends 90 percent of his time losing. Golfers are great losers.

I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler.

I don't suffer from a mental illness, I live with it.

I have a healthy disrespect for religion. I really do. When Columbus came to this country in 1492 he brought syphilis, diphtheria, tuberculosis, influenza and Christianity. The diseases were curable.

It's hard to tell who's going to win this week, but it probably won't be a big, fat guy.

The course is so long, I had to take the curvature of the Earth into consideration.

Worst haircut I've ever seen in my life. And I've had a few bad ones. It looks like he (John Daly) has a divot over each ear.

If god wanted people to believe in him, why'd he invent logic then?

I have licked the fire and danced in the ashes of every bridge I ever burned. I fear no hell from you.

I don't tolerate politics that come from anger. I want a politics derived from beauty... I don't admire politicians, but poets. (Rubem Alves, p. 189)

Only people you trust can ever really betray you, Amber.

It's not about what we take with us when we die, it's about what we leave behind

Once, if I remember well, my life was a feast where all hearts opened and all wines flowed.

Tell a thousand people to draft a letter, let them debate every phrase, and see how long it takes and what you get.

He had loved and he had found himself. Most people love to lose themselves.

I always want to read the script before I totally commit.

A movie doesn't have to do everything. A movie just has to do a couple of things. If it does those things well and gives you a cool night at the movies, an emotion, that's good enough.

Sort of like, I have to make the Japanese lyrics really deep.