Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

No one is fine on his own. People just say they are.

I wanted to be a nobleman; I bought a name and a title... Oh, nothing is impossible with five million a year.

All the sciences came to exist in Arabic. The systematic works on them were written in Arabic writing.

I wish something on T.V. would trouble me. Then maybe I would watch it.

Toddlers are so powerful and so egocentric and teenagers are also so powerful, so egocentric.

I would still encourage somebody, if they wanted to make a movie, to just go take a movie camera. That's clearly been shown to work. It's just how do you get it seen?

Take advantage of this human boat; Free yourself from sorrow's mighty stream! This vessel will be later hard to find. The time that you have now, you fool, is not for sleep!

When someone cares... it is easier to speak, it is easier to listen, it is easier to play, it is easier to work. When someone cares it is easier to laugh.

I think for some reason people are drawn to stories of all kinds, for some reason they land harder when they are "true." And yet in fiction, I think there is a lot of deeper truth, too.

The ravages of drink are greater than those of war pestilence and famine combined.