Home is where you hang your head.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Reconciliation without truth is nothing but a smokescreen

Today's veterans often come home to find that, although they're willing to die for their country, they're not sure how to live for it.

Doing something positive will help turn your mood around. When you smile, your body relaxes. When you experience human touch and interaction, it eases tension in your body.

I do have a political agenda. It's to have as few regulations as possible.

Art is dangerous. It is one of the attractions: when it ceases to be dangerous, you don't want it.

The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.

When I'm performing, this is what everything builds up to, and everything has allowed me to be here.

Heaven is equally distant everywhere.

The policy of man consists, at first, in endeavoring to arrive at a state equal to that of animals, whom nature has furnished with food, clothing, and shelter.