Holyfield won the fight. It's not the first time Romney has been knocked out by a black guy.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Teach your little ones about the rules of decent behaviour. When they grow up, it will be too late to learn.

[Hezbollah forces] cannot exist all over Syria anyway, for many reasons, but they exist on the borders.

Temperance is moderation in the things that are good and total abstinence from the things that are foul.

He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

We save limited resources in terms of who we are physically screening. The approach will allow us to pay more attention to those potential terrorists.

I knew being accepted was going to be hard, but I knew I was involved in a situation that was going to bring opportunities to other blacks.

Customers must be delicately angled for at a safe distance - show yourself too much, and, like trout, they flashed away.

Chivalry is a poor substitute for justice, if one cannot have both. Chivalry is something like the icing on the cake, sweet but not nourishing.

Truth is the ground of science, the centre wherein all things repose, and is the type of eternity.

How seldom we weigh our neighbor in the same balance with ourselves.