Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

Is there a particular way of looking at your love?” she asked.…..Yes… The way you look at me.

At the heart of great leadership is a curious mind, heart, and spirit.

Of all the countries of the world America is the one where the movement of thought and human industry is the most continuous and swift.

Live Freaky! Die Freaky! will be, without a shadow of a doubt, the single greatest film of all time about Charles Manson being the savior to all humanity in the year 3069.

And have her back by midnight. " "Is that some powerful Caster hour?" "No. It's her curfew.

What we seek in love is finding someone with whom we feel safe to reveal our true self.

Never forget, your family should always have priority over your work.

You're not too good for the sleep mask-neck pillow combo! You're not too cool for it!

I've always felt running is a form of meditation. Running enables us to stop our lives, to go out and find a safe place for ourselves.

The compass spins between heaven and hell, let your soul be your pilot, let your soul guide you.