He shimmered out, and I sat up in bed with that rather unpleasant feeling you get sometimes that you're going to die in about five minutes.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

It seems it has been my fate to sadden those I should have made happy.

It is so good, so sweet and above all, so beneficial to suffer.

There is absolutely no way the best team in the NCAA could even dream of beating the worst team in the NBA? You're talking about men vs. boys.

If revealed religions have revealed anything it is that they are usually wrong.

Being appointed Elder Professor meant very much taking over the shop, in that the professor in those days controlled all the moneys.

Songwriting is about getting the demon out of me. It's like being possessed.

Revolutions are not push button affairs; rather, they evolve only if there exists a reservoir of hope and grievance that can be galvanized into popular action.

They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.

The best stories are often true...The narrative of human life is most beautiful when told truthfully and without boundaries.

The unsaved people will be cast into utter darkness forever.