Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

No, " said Luis, "You can't date the Lord of the Night Court.""Well, I'm not, he dumped me.""You can't get dumped by the lord of the night court.""Oh, yes, you can. You so completely can.

The name of the new religion, " said Rumfoord, "is The Church of God the Utterly Indifferent.

Love is quite like reading, I expect. Once you know how, you can't ever imagine not doing it.

Do not desire a long life or an early death

And, because there was an honesty about all that was going on. It connected with the people in the street.

Bernie or bust actually reduces the leverage for Bernie [Sandеrs] to claim victory.

I've never been enamoured by the idea of being a celebrity.

Nine out of ten groups that came out in '89 are gone. I'm still here.

Some things need to be let go before other things can be let in.

I met some friends in the end of 10th, beginning of 11th, who were in the popular group so I finished off high school in that group and got to see both sides