Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able to call a wrong number and get a person.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Success is a steadily progress.You can make steadily progress in all spheres of life.

perserverence w/o exception

I thought Leonardo DiCaprio was amazing in Baz Luhrmanns Romeo and Juliet.

The hood ornament on your car is for telling you where you're going. The rear-view-mirror is for showing you how good you look while you're getting there.

Sweetheart, when you break thru you'll find a poet here, not quite what one would choose.

The storm is master. Man, as a ball, is tossed twixt winds and billows.

Even in our democratic New England towns the accidental possession of wealth, and its manifestation in dress and equipage alone, obtain for the possessor almost universal respect.

And I'm working at trying to find a kind of language where I won't be so easily modulated by expectation.

Whereas for me, touring tends to be a very strange and isolating experience.

Ben McAdoo has a "work hard" mentality.